


The Mother

by Sookiestark



Series: Seven Times Tyrion Married Sansa [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Infidelity, Joanna lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15874809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sookiestark/pseuds/Sookiestark
Summary: What if Joanna lived? How would things be different for Tyrion?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this story made me change this whole series. Things got a bit out of control but this story begged to be written. As it got longer and longer, I decided it would have a few chapters. 
> 
> This all came out of a discussion - Why does Tywin hate Tyrion? Does he hate him more because he is a dwarf or does he hate him because he killed Joanna? This is going on the premise that he hates him more because he killed Joanna and so if Joanna did not die, Tyrion might be very different.

Joanna Lannister walked the secret tunnels of the Red Keep alone on this night. When she was younger, which seemed like a lifetime ago in a different world, she would sometimes walk these halls with her friend, the Princess of Dorne, or sometimes she would walk it with her love. She knew all the paths to and from her old rooms to anywhere in the castle... Maybe not all of them, but enough to do what needed to be done tonight. 

She had loved and been loved that was something she was sure of. She had felt the hot wildfire burn of desire and young love and the steady beat of matrimonial love, though it had been rocky at first. However, she had always known her husband and she had been raised to be an affable wife, loving and patient. She loved her brothers, sisters, aunts, and extended family But most of all she had enjoyed the love and joy she had received and given as a mother.

Joanna loved her golden twins, Cersei and Jaime though she wished that they had chosen different paths than they had. Of course, her own mother would have said the same about her. Tywin had always said she was the permissive parent, but the truth of it was that he had not kept a good eye on them when they were under his care. The twins, without guidance, had allowed their basest desires to rule their natures. She wished she had spent more time with them. She had not been with them enough. She had been busy on the Rock with her youngest child, Tyrion. 

 

Tyrion Lannister, the Giant of House Lannister, the Demon Monkey, the Imp, was her youngest child and she had spent his whole life being his champion in the world. She had told Tyrion the story a thousand times and he still would smile to hear it. Joanna had had a terrible time of trying to get Tyrion out. His head was too big. She was weak and bleeding everyone thought she was dying. 

It had not been an easy pregnancy. Early on, she had taken ill and had started bleeding. A fever had ensued. The Maester had thought she might die from this sudden illness. Tywin had come to her bed with the twins and the children had been crying. Tywin never cried but he seemed pale and deeply upset. "Don't leave, Joanna. I am sorry. I am sorry I was angry. Do not leave."

She remembered how touched she was at his emotions and surprised that he willing to express it. They had just returned from King's Landing and the King's 10th Anniversary of ruling the Seven Kingdoms. It had been a difficult trip, bringing up old hurts and old jealousies. She and Tywin had not said more than a hundred sentences in the months since they had returned. Joanna had kissed his hand. "My love, you have been my friend, my heart, my lord in all things."

Joanna had recovered but she had been put on bed rest in a dark room for the rest of her pregnancy. So, when the birth was extremely difficult, it had not suprised anyone. However, no one had expected so much blood. When the bleeding did not stop, Tywin, her husband was sent for so that he could say his goodbyes.

After they had finally pulled Tyrion from her, finally wrenching him from her body, Tywin had come to her, his green eyes filled with tears. “Please, Joanna. Do not leave me. I cannot think what I will do. I will be lost. It is my fault...”

She had smiled and kissed his hand. They had told her her baby was misshapen, a dwarf, but he was a healthy baby and a boy, as well. “Shhh...Tywin, my love,” she had said, “Name the baby Tyrion as we talked about… Tyrion Lannister.”

Tywin sneered at the cradle and clutched her hand. “Have you see him? It might be kinder to set him on the side of the Rock. He will be disfigured. He is a cursed thing and he has taken you. Better he was never born.”

Joanna had felt an anger and a protectiveness come over her. She had seen some of Tywin's cruelty and if she was leaving this earth, she would need him to not be cruel to her defenseless child. She let her husband’s hand go, “Let me hold our son.”

She had taken the small, red-faced baby in her arms, her voice was trembling with rage, even as she looked at his arms, his legs, his oversized head that almost killed her. “No, Tywin,” she had said, “He will be the best of all our children. He is just different, but still special. Promise me you will care for him.” 

Tywin had hesitated, "Do not go... Fight and stay with me. With the children. He will need you."

It was the sound of his voice, the grief, the anger, the coolness. Joanna had worried and then she had smiled gently, "My love, I will try.."

The Maester had said he had never seen anything like it, the recovery of Joanna Lannister. She did not die or get any infection, even with all the blood loss. It seemed as if anger and a desire to protect her small son had sparked Joanna to live when all hope was lost. She loved that boy as fiercely as a mother lion and he never left her side.

As she healed, the baby did not leave her room. Instead, his cradle was beside her bed. Tyrion was the only child she actually nursed. A midwife had said that nursing would give the pitiful thing strength and it might help the Lady of Casterly Rock. Joanna found as she fed her son and looked into his mismatched eyes that it was like falling in love with this tiny human. He needed her and she needed him.

Joanna Lannister healed quickly enough to entertain the Princess of Dorne in a few moons. The Princess of Dorne had hoped to marry her son Oberyn to Joanna’s daughter Cersei and her daughter Elia, to her son Jaime. Tywin had contemplated the idea of Jaime and Elia but he said she seemed a sickly girl. The idea of Oberyn marrying Cersei was out of the question. Tywin had dreamed of marrying Cersei to Prince Rhaegar and he had told his daughter this plan so frequently, it had become Cersei’s greatest wish. 

Despite the Princess’ unsuccessful attempt at betrothal, Joanna had got to show her dearest friend her newest child. When the Princess of Dorne had left, she had said that Joanna had found a new man to fall in love with and that was her son Tyrion.

It was said that though the Lady of the House Lannister had healed, he had not allowed Lord Tywin back in her room. Some said it was because another child would kill her for certain. Others said it was because Lady Joanna felt a terrible insult at what Lord Lannister had said about her child. 

Almost a year after Tyrion Lannister was born, Lady Joanna’s bedmaid told the household staff that she had heard Lord Tywin apologized to her Lady, whispering words of sentiment. “I was worried you were dying. I could not lose you. I am sorry I love you so much. Forgive me, Joanna.”

No one could believe that Lord Tywin would ever apologize or say anything of the sort but it was noticed that Lady Joanna’s room was filled with lilies from the Reach and she had a new emerald ring on her finger. She never did go back to sleeping in the Lord’s chambers, but it was observed that he was sometimes found in her bed sheets when the curtains were opened. 

 

Over the years of Tyrion’s childhood, Joanna and her son had spent most of it alone at Casterly Rock. Jaime was sent to the Crakehalls to be fostered. Cersei spent a great deal of her time in King’s Landing hoping to catch the eye of a Prince. So, Lady Joanna was often seen with a small blonde boy, hiding behind her skirts, as she talked with staff or holding her hand as they walked the gardens. Tyrion had been surrounded by his mother’s warmth and love. Because of that his aunts, uncles, and cousins loved him in spite of his deformity.

Joanna knew that Jaime loved his brother with all his heart. Jaime was a kind loyal boy who had a good heart. She felt he was a bit too close to his sister and had pushed him being fostered, even if she had been sad to see him go. Joanna believed he needed to be away from Cersei’s influence. 

Cersei had been resentful of Tyrion and all the attention he had received from Joanna, Tywin or Jaime. Once or twice, she had seen Cersei pinch Tyrion or twist his arm if he had received attention. Once when Tywin had been home from King’s Landing, Tyrion at four had recited all the Kings from Aegon I correctly as well as thr dragons they rode. Tywin had been pleased and said Tyrion was so quick-witted, he might one day be the Hand of the King. Tyrion had come to her with a bloody nose and scratched knees. He had said he had tripped but Joanna was certain Cersei pushed him. Then there was that unfortunate accident with Cersei’s friend Melara, who had drowned in the well. 

When Tywin brought Cersei to King’s Landing, Joanna found Casterly Rock peaceful. No maids came to her with pulled hair or marks and Tyrion had far fewer accidents. Tyrion had asked his mother where Cersei had gone. She had picked him up and said, “She hopes to catch a dragon. But your sister must remember that dragons burn.”

Tyrion had laughed but Joanna knew first hand how the chase of a Dragon could burn and leave scars. When she had been young, she had loved Aerys. Aerys had been handsome, strong, creative and charming. He had unlimited energy and barely slept. He was smart and witty and given to big ideas and dreams. She had never known anyone like him. The first time he kissed her, she was certain she stopped breathing. It was all desire and romance and her young heart had craved him and only him. But she had been burned and when the dust settled, she had found herself happy and married to Tywin. 

One thing Tyrion never stopped talking of was dragons. He loved dragons. He learned all he could about dragons. Joanna even hired a scribe from her own allowance to go to Oldtown and King’s Landing and buy books on dragons that they did not have at Casterly Rock. His room was full of pictures of dragons and books. 

When he was six, Joanna had taken him to King’s Landing to see Prince Rhaegar’s wedding to Princess Elia Martell. When they entered the Red Keep, she had taken Tyrion to the throne room to see all the dragon skulls. King Aerys had seemed lost in a world of his own, his hair matted, his fingernails long. He muttered about wildfire and did not recognize her at all. Joanna had looked at Rhaella and her bruises and sad eyes and thought to herself that dragon fire could kill and Cersei was better off without Rhaegar. 

During the wedding feast, Joanna was showing Tyrion off in his golden jacket as much as she showed off her daughter in her brocaded dress of golden lions. She showed Tyrion off as if he was as lovely as Cersei or as handsome and strong as Jaime. King Aerys II had spoken up, the first coherent thing he had said all night, full of rancor, “Joanna, perhaps your son will tumble for us like a proper dwarf and entertain.”

Tyrion, an eager boy of six, almost attempted to do a trick or cartwheel, but Joanna took his hand and left the feast. That night, Tywin had come to her room and told her that she should leave. “The King is unwell. He is lost in his voices. He is no longer Aerys. You are not safe here, not with him. You love the boy too much. Aerys has always been jealous of us, of you. You give the boy too much.”

She had kissed him, “Tywin, I will leave in the morning. Tyrion is a good boy and he needs a champion.”

He had kissed her and said, “The King is unwell. I could not bear to see anything happen to you… or the boy.”

Joanna did not know if Tywin loved any of their children, as her father had loved her. She hoped he did. Sometimes, she would seem him look softly at their daughter or have the shadow of a smile when Jaime fought. Like their other two children, Tywin often wore a stern face around Tyrion but there seemed to be an amused smile beneath it, pleased by the care she took of their smallest son, pleased by his son’s intelligence. When she left in the morning, after they had made love most of the night, Joanna had whispered to Tywin to come home to Casterly Rock soon. 

 

When they returned to Casterly Rock, Lady Joanna found Tywin’s brother Gerion in the yard. ”Ser, I have need of your skill and I ask you a favor as the Lady of the House. My youngest son, Tyrion, loves you well and the stories and care you show him. I know you have been teaching him to tumble and cartwheel. Gerion, you must teach my son more than cartwheels. He must know how to fight and lead troops. I need you to practice with him in the yard as you did with Jaime.”

It was said that Lord Gerion was going to protest but that the beauty of Lady Joanna made him hold his tongue. However, a stable boy named Pate said it was the withering look that she gave him that made him hold his words. Regardless, Lord Tyrion was given a small shield and a short sword and practiced in the yard for an hour. He also spent time with Lord Kevan talking about the castle and the lands, teaching him how to rule and how to lead.

Once Tyrion had come to her, crying, saying he hated fighting and he could not do it. She had slapped him. It was the only time she had ever hit him and he was more stunned than hurt. Joanna had looked at him, “You will be a man in this bloody world we live in, not just a man, but a Lannister. Your brother, Jaime, has a kind heart and will need your wits and will to help him as Lord of Casterly Rock. Your tears will do no good on this. A man needs a sword in this big world of ours. I will not have anyone think you less. You will continue with your practice in the yard.”

 

Joanna thought all was fine until the Tourney of Harrenhal. Tyrion had just turned nine. Jaime had come home for a few days before he met his Father and Cersei at Harrenhal. Jaime had playfully teased his mother to come and watch him. “Come, Mother, and when I win, I will make you the Queen of Love and Beauty.”

She had laughed with him and called him a fool. She could remember hugging him and telling him to be safe and remember who he was. A fortnight later, Tywin came home with Cersei. Jaime had been appointed to the Kingsguard, Enraged that Aerys would steal his heir, Tywin had resigned and taken Cersei back home to the Rock. Tywin was full of black moods and barely contained rage. Cersei's moods were unpredictable and excessively violent. Tyrion spent more time with her, hiding from Cersei.

Joanna had called Cersei to her rooms. He heard a sweet sad story but there was something to the twist of her daughter’s lips that made Joanna know there was much more to the story. She wondered what plan Cersei had had that had been spoiled. Joanna thought perhaps she did not want to know. Even worse, Joanna found herself wondering if her daughter was unwell in the head. Perhaps, what she had taken for spoiled immaturity was something like madness? 

Joanna went to Tywin’s study. She could see the anger in his eyes and knew it was mostly fear for their son in the hands of Aerys II. It was said that since Tywin had resigned Aerys had taken to the execution of criminals by burning them with wildfire. Joanna knew her oldest son was in a great deal of danger. 

Her blonde hair ran over her shoulders, “My love, Tywin, would you like me to go to King’s Landing and petition the King to release Jaime from his vows? Perhaps, I can soften his heart.”

"You cannot, If he hurt you, I would lo... I could not bear it. Also, Jaime has taken his vows by now. I will not have him dishonored. He is gone. We have lost our heir. Who will rule Casterly Rock?”

Joanna spoke, patiently, trying to hide the rage, “Tywin, I can give you no more children and Jaime is in the Kingsguard. However, we have a son, a son fit to rule Casterly Rock. Name Tyrion your heir.”

Tywin spoke, raising his voice, “How can a half-man rule the Rock? How will anyone respect him? He is a dwarf. They call him The Imp of Casterly Rock. I cannot even get a minor house to wed their daughter to him. He is not fit to rule.”

It was then Joanna heard the door shut and the steps running away from the room. She knew immediately what had happened. Tyrion had followed her quietly and sneaked into the room to listen. He had fled when he heard what his father had said. Joanna saw a flash of regret replaced quickly by Tywin’s stern face. 

Joanna had found him. He was in his room reading She had sat beside him and asked him “Are you too grown to sit in my lap?”

She smiled as she could see him struggle with what to do. He wanted to refuse her but the idea of the comfort of his mother's laps and arms was too great to refuse. Tyrion climbed in his mother's arms, wiping his cheeks, in case any tears fell. He did not want her to think he was a baby. 

Joanna had spoken, “Let me tell you a story. It is from the Age of Legends and it is about the Casterlys and Lann the Clever.”

Tyrion had spoken, “Mother, I know all those stories.” 

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, rocking gently. “You might not know all of them. I have only ever heard this one once. Once when I was a girl, probably younger than you are now, I had a nurse called Meg. Some say she had been around since the time Aegon the Unworthy was King. She was very old, but she was the best storyteller. When I was good, she would tell me stories. I was a naughty child so I rarely got stories.”

Tyrion laughed because he could not imagine his mother any other way, but perfect. Joanna had continued, “Anyway, once she told me the story of Lann the Clever. We know he had golden hair and we know he was clever. Some say that is where the Lannisters get their wits, their charm, and their golden hair. Some stories say that Lann made each one of Lord Casterly‘s daughters fall in love with him and each one had a golden-haired child in nine months time. The ladies all fought to see who would marry Lann. But Lann loved the eldest and so he married her.”

“A question that many have asked is how did Lann get into the impenetrable Casterly Rock? How was it done? What Meg told me that day rings true.. What she told me was that Lann was a dwarf like you. How else could he slip through the cracks at Casterly Rock? He slipped in because he was small enough to.”

Tyrion looked at his mother trying to see if she was teasing him. 

“Are you teasing?” he asked

“No, according to her, Lann the Clever was handsome, smart, golden-haired, charming, and little, just like you. Do not listen when people try to doubt you or think you are less because of your size. You are no half man. You will be as great as Lann the Clever and someday everyone will know.”

 

No one in the Rock knew what transpired between the Lord and Lady. However, a week later, Tywin made a formal announcement to all the Great Houses as well as throughout the westerlands, that his youngest son, Tyrion Lannister, would be his heir. Lord Tywin had the men come and swear fealty to House Lannister and his son. 

Soon after, war broke out. Aerys had burned the Warden of the North, Rickard Stark and his heir were murdered as well. It was said he had killed the heir to the Vale as well. Aerys was demanding the heads of the new Lord Stark as well as the head of Lord Robert Baratheon. Aerys was known as the Mad King and his tyranny would only be ended by bloodshed. It was said he kept Jaime and Princess Elia Martell and her children, little more than hostages for the good behavior of House Lannister and House Martell. Joanna had spent many nights sleepless wondering when Aerys would feed Jaime to his wildfire. 

Lord Baratheon reached out to him and asked him for his troops but Tywin did not go. King Aerys II demanded Lord Tywin and his men help Prince Rhaegar put down the rebels but Tywin did not budge. Finally, Tywin called some of his most loyal men and went east. What he planned to do there and who he planned to fight for he did not tell Joanna. For the first time, Joanna felt unsettled, as if there was a divide between them and a reason he had not told her. 

Tywin had reached out to her with a message that Lord Baratheon and the rebels had won. Prince Rhaegar had been defeated on the Trident. He told her to come with men and Cersei. It seemed Lord Baratheon would be crowned King Robert I and Cersei would be his Queen.

As they traveled in a wheelhouse, she saw the devastation that had been wrecked by the war. The further east they went, the more burned houses, dead bodies and ruin they saw, As they went, they heard more and more about what happened. She learned that Tywin’s men had killed Princess Rhaenys and Prince Aeon and that Princess Elia had been raped and killed protecting them. She learned that Prince Rhaegar had run away with some wanton girl who happened to have been Lord Baratheon’s betrothed and the daughter of the dead Lord Stark. At House Stokeworth, Joanna had learned the worse thing she had heard of this Rebellion. She learned that Jaime had killed the King, stabbing him in the back as he was running from him. Jaime had violated his vows and his honor by killing the man he had sworn to protect. For a moment, she wondered if Tywin had persuaded him to do it.

When they reached the Red Keep, Jaime had met her in the yard. Tywin had been busy in negotiation for his daughter’s nuptials. Joanna had hugged her son tightly in her arms. She had looked at him. ”Jaime, we had heard upsetting news as we traveled here. We heard that you killed the King, stabbing him in the back as he fled. Tell me this is a scurrilous rumor.”

Jaime had looked at her with a sadness in his eyes, “I cannot, Mother. It is the truth.”

Joanna had felt anger, sadness, and regret but she had spoken the words, cold and cutting. “Then, what are you doing here dressed in white? You must get to the Wall and take the black. You should take the black for your crimes.”

 

Joanna could see Cersei’s anger and Tyrion’s sorrow as she spoke the words. But the pain that flashed on Jaime’s face made her wonder what had happened in that throne room when Aerys was killed. Joanna did not speak or comfort any of her three children. Instead, she took Tyrion by the hand and led him to their rooms. 

Tywin was angered when he heard how she spoke to Jaime about taking the black. He came to her rooms and yelled about why she would choose a mad tyrant of a king over her son. She did not tell him that Jaime had made a vow. She did not tell him the other reasons, the other crime he may have committed by killing Aerys. She could never really know and now that House Targaryen was overthrown, it did not matter much.

Instead, Joanna yelled back at her husband that he ordered the slaying of infants and a small frail woman who had been her best friend’s daughter. She yelled that he was a heartless cruel monster with no honor. Tywin had tried to speak to her softly, to tell her that Princess Elia was supposed to be returned to Dorne but some of the men had gotten too excited.

Joanna had looked at her husband and said, “Tywin, I know you hand chose the men you sent, chosen for loyalty and skill, for bloodthirstiness. Do you pick the same men who slaughtered babies at Castamere? You can lie to everyone else but I know you knew exactly what would happen. If not, their heads would be on the ramparts for their treachery.”

It was said Lady Joanna left King’s Landing that day, returning for her daughter’s marriage and the birth of each of her grandchildren and one other time. Until the War of the Five Kings, she stayed on the Rock with her son, Tyrion. Lord Tywin returned to the Rock after his daughter’s wedding. He had been disappointed because he had been certain he would be appointed the Hand by his new good son but he was overlooked for Jon Arryn. When Tywin returned, Lady Joanna told him he was not welcome to her chambers anymore. Tywin did not argue and never again went to her chamber door.


	2. Chapter 2

Joanna stopped walking in the tunnels. Now, she would wait here in the darkness, with her torch. Perhaps a ghost would meet her in the here in the darkness. She wondered if they would be friendly. She wondered if Aerys was still here wandering the halls and was he the Mad King, bloodthirsty and tortured, or was he the handsome prince that she remembered so fondly?

Joanna had been a sheltered girl, stuck in Casterly Rock with her siblings and cousins. Lord Tytos, the patriarch and Lord of the Lannisters was a good-natured, kind man. He probably planned to marry her to one of his boys but when she was young she had not thought of the future often. She remembered being her uncle’s favorite, even more than Genna, his own daughter. He would tell her that she looked the most like his mother, Rohanne Lannister, except instead of red hair, she had golden. When Genna had called her ugly because she had freckles on her cheeks and made her cry, Lord Tytos had told her the story of her grandmother, Rohanne and how she had freckles and a bow and a laugh that would run through the Rock as if she a magical creature. He had gathered her in his arms, “She was the best woman and the best mother. You are her born again.” 

“What happened to her?”

“I do not know. One day she disappeared and she never returned. I believe she went on an adventure. There are some that said she sailed the Sunset Sea. Others say she went to the Free Cities. My father would not speak of it. She had too much joy for my gloomy father who was haunted by his own ghosts. Life is too short to not enjoy it she had told me. I listened and I believed. Life should be full of joy.”

She had remembered thinking even as her Uncle Tytos spoke that she thought he was being naive. Even at a young age, she knew life was difficult and unpleasant. She knew that her life would be full of decisions that her Uncle and Father would make for her and she would have to live with them. Joanna loved her Uncle but she thought he might be a bit unrealistic. Or perhaps as the patriarch of the House, he did not remember or know how someone with no agency might feel, someone with no choices of her destiny. 

Joanna did not remember when her friendship with Tywin began. He was older than her and so serious, that when she was young, she did not play with him much. Her brother, Stafford, had warned her to keep her distance from Tywin. But somehow, maybe because of Uncle Tytos’ fondness of her, Tywin would find ways to talk with her or spend a few moments with her. Strong-willed, smart, determined, Tywin even at a young age was a formidable character. She would feel a swell of pride when he would be busy practicing in the yard but always had time to wave or speak to her. All her attendants would be jealous, especially Cerielle Tarbeck.

She could remember the day he spoke against his father in the Great Hall at dinner. Lord Frey had proposed a marriage between Tywin’s sister and his second son as if a second son would be good for the only daughter of Lord Lannister. Joanna had been too young to understand the insult but no one spoke a word when Tywin stood up and spoke against it. 

Lord Tytos, normally a jolly fellow, rose to stand in a rage at his son’s insolence. In a manner, Joanna had never seen before her Uncle had bid him to hold his tongue and sit down. Joanna had heard Lady Tarbeck snickers and she saw Tywin’s eyes grow tight with rage. Within a fortnight, Uncle Tytos sent Tywin to King’s Landing to be a cupbearer for the King. 

When Tywin came back two years later, he had told her of all the wonders of King’s Landing and King Aegon V’s court. Tywin always had plans, big plans. He hated how the lords laughed behind his father’s back. He would speak of how he would one day not just be the Lord of Casterly Rock but on the King’s Small Council. “When I am older I will make sure that House Lannister is a respected power. People will not laugh when they hear the words House Lannister.” 

It had been Tywin’s idea that she go to King’s Landing and be an attendant for the Princess Rhaella. She had remembered the intensity in his boy's voice, how he would find a place for her among Princess Rhaella attendants. She would be able to befriend the Princess, who would one day be Queen. It was already spoken that the Prince and Princess would be wed. He had smiled, “What a pair we will be? You, the closest companion to Queen Rhaella, and I, as King Aerys II, loyal and best friend. No one will ever dare laugh at the Lannisters again or take advantage of us again.”

It had been Tywin's idea but her mother, Marla, had seemed to have more of a hand in it then it appeared. As soon as Joanna was old enough to notice, she would see how her mother would push her toward her Uncle Tytos. Once she had overheard her mother speaking to her father of how Joanna was pretty and how Tywin did seem to enjoy the girl's company. Her mother had said, "Who knows? If we play our cards right, Joanna might be the Lady of Casterly Rock. How lovely that would be!"

Joanna had heard her father chuckle in a gentle way, amused but uninterested. "Be careful, Marla. They shall call you Little Ellyn Reyne." 

Even as young as she had been, Joanna had known that his father was not complementing her mother, even if it was teasing. She knew that a woman who wanted too much power was seen as grasping or worse. A woman must be cautious when she talked of power. 

Standing in the dark tunnel, she wondered if that was the reason her husband did not like their youngest, because he opened the Lannisters up to mockery and laughter. It was even said that Aerys had said that Tyrion's size would teach Tywin some humility. Joanna had often wondered if Aerys had actually said that as he had also sent Tyrion a present of his weight in gold with a dozen roses dipped in gold for the Lady of Casterly Rock. Tywin did not like weakness and he did not like anyone to laugh or mock his house. Of course, since Robert’s death, Jaime and Cersei had seemed to open themselves to quite a bit of scurrilous rumors and mockery, rumors of incest, of adultery, of treason. 

Joanna had guessed years ago at the possibility of Jaime and Cersei's true relationship and had tried her best to dissuade them from it. Shortly after Myrcella’s birth, she had taken her daughter aside. Joanna had spoken, “I see the disdain you have for our King. As a woman of intelligence and good breeding, I know how hard it can be, being married to a powerful man who does not consult with you. It can be terribly lonely. I know that having Jaime near is a comfort to you. However, perhaps, you could win the King over with kindness and charm? He might come to you more for your opinion on matters if there wasn’t so much hostility.”

Her daughter and the Queen, Cersei, had smiled at her, as sweet as a summer day, ”I do not think anything would get through Robert’s drunkenness and boasting.”

“Sweetness might. I have seen the women he beds. They are all sweet and cater to his need to be praised. Surely that wouldn’t be too difficult.”

“I cannot, Mother. I can barely stomach his touch.”

Joanna had kissed her daughter’s forehead, “I understand, little dove. But let us hope the next child you birth comes out the mirror image of the King and not you or your brother.”

Joanna had left the room after she spoke to allow her daughter the time to think about her words. Obviously, Cersei had not thought too much on it for the next child looked nothing like Robert as well. 

Joanna stood in the dark tunnel, feeling alone in the dark. She should have come to King’s Landing and watched the twins more. It seemed that they had needed her more than she had thought. After the Rebellion, she had found it difficult to stay in the Red Keep, difficult to eat near Robert and Cersei, difficult to stomach Tywin, or stand behind her son who had committed a terrible crime but never faced punishment for it. It was as if Aerys’ madness had debased the throne so much that leaders could do whatever they wanted but not have to answer for anything. Gone were the days of Maekar, Aegon V or Jaehaerys II. If you sat on the Iron Throne, you could do whatever you like and the law was behind you. It was a joke, a travesty, and it did not sit well with her. House Lannister was a noble and ancient house and she would not watch or join in the debacle the court had become. 

 

Instead, she put her righteous anger into raising her youngest into being a true and noble lord. When Tyrion was eleven, Joanna took Tyrion on a progress of the Westerlands, Riverlands, and the Reach. Lady Joanna had several reasons for this, she wanted to find younger sons to be fostered with hers at the Rock, she wanted to find an eligible wife for her son, and she wanted Tyrion to see a bit of the world. 

Her husband had approached her a few days before she left. “If you would like, I might be able to go with you.”

Joanna had smiled sweetly and spoke with a tinge of ice to her voice, thinking of Dorea’s girl being raped and murdered by the orders of her husband, “I think Gerion would be enough. We will be back soon enough.” 

Every one of the Great Houses feasted and opened their doors to them. However, there were things said about her son and his size. This angered Joanna a great deal but instead of showing her anger, she kept quiet and remembered. 

When she returned, she went to see Tywin in his study. “The Houses of the Westerlands love you and respect you. They need to love and respect Tyrion as well. We need to get him betrothed.” 

“I have sent word to Tullys, Royces, Lyddens, Hightowers, Florents. None will have him. More than a dozen houses have turned me down.” 

Joanna took a breath and pushed the image of the ruins of Tarbeck Hall down as she swallowed. Stepping closer to him, she heard Aerys’ voice “You are my golden girl. You could tame the lions with your touch. You have tamed a dragon with your kiss.”

She had laughed back then but had lived by those words. Tywin did not need much but her sweetness and praise. For a little kindness, she could get his will and the will of Tywin Lannister was no small thing. Joanna walked behind him and touched his shoulders, squeezing them.”I know how hard you work for all of us. I know how upsetting it is, my love. Perhaps, if we fostered a few boys here, we could win a girl for him through her brother’s love for Tyrion. Plus, fostering a few noble boys would win him friends and alliances.” 

“Do you have some boys in mind?”

“I do.. Garlan Tyrell. He is the second son and now the Tyrells have three, so they might be apt to send him. They fought on the losing side of the war. They might want to build alliances with the victors. Edmure Tully. I do not know if Hoster will allow it but we have the King as our good son to put pressure on him. Both boys seemed loyal and kind-hearted and did not pick on him or bully him. I also liked Lord Plumm’s boy, Dennis. Tyrion talked a great deal about history with him. He is a bit more spirited but the Plumm’s are wealthy and powerful still and from the west. What do you think, my love?”

 

Tywin took her hand and squeezed it. Looking up at her, he turned his chair to appraise her with his emerald eyes. “It seems you have thought about this a great deal. I will send word and try to arrange it. I appreciate you so much when we are able to work together.”

She smiled thinking about when he paraded poor Maya through the streets of the city, naked, and tried not to flinch. “Thank you. I have had some conversations to make it easier for you. Tyrion is the heir and we must make him the best lord we can for the future of Casterly Rock. 

As she was leaving, Tywin stood and spoke, “Joanna, I miss you.”

She smiled gently, knowing what he was asking and how much it took him to even say these words. Joanna also smiled because it was the satisfaction that she had gotten what she had come for, the will and want of Tywin Lannister. 

He took a few steps closer to her. “I have missed you so much since you've been gone.”

Joanna stepped into her husband, and let him put his arms on her hips. Touching his beard, she remembered when the twins were babies and he had held each of them and said he was the most blessed man in the Seven Kingdoms. She had remembered how vulnerable and happy he had been and the love that had filled her for him at that moment. She touched his grey beard in the palm of her hand. Once, he had been as golden as his beard in her eyes. Now, he was grey. 

“I miss you too, Tywin. Perhaps, when the boys arrive at Casterly Rock, you could return to my room.”

With a turn of her skirts, she kissed him dryly and left the room quickly. 

True to Tywin’s nature and disposition, within a moon, the Houses all confirmed that their sons would be coming. Gerion seemed excited to have a castle full of boys to teach and train. When the boys arrived, suddenly the house was full of noise and Joanna remembered how much noise had been in Casterly Rock when she was a girl. Kevan taught the boys what he could about laws and taxes. Maester Durdin taught them histories, but often they were busy causing mischief and wrestling. 

Dennis Plumm was the loudest boy given to fits and rages. He was a tall thin boy with dark hair and blue eyes. He was often the leader of the group but allowed Edmure to believe he was. He was as good with a sword as he was with a book. Garlan was the best swordsman of all, a natural horseman as well as a fighter. Edmure Tully seemed to be only passable with a sword and slightly less passable with a book. He was given to pouting but seemed to like being around a group of boys.

As the days passed, the boys grew closer and formed a bond that Joanna had been hoping would happen. 

When the Tyrion was thirteen, her daughter the Queen sent word that she would like her to be there at the upcoming birth. Joanna had kissed her son and left for King's Landing. On her first night, she could almost see the Queen’s dislike for her husband. King Robert was a simple man of simple tastes. He liked fighting, pretty woman, good food, good drink, and good times. 

When the birth started, Jaime pushed himself into the room.

“Jaime…” Cersei cried reaching for him. 

Joanna had taken him by the arm, “Son, what are you doing here?”

 

“I have come to help her. She needs me.” 

“There is nothing you can do. Go protect your King and I will help your sister.” She had walked him to the door and shut it behind him. 

A boy came and the word was sent to Robert. The child had blonde hair and green eyes and looked exactly like Cersei. Robert had come to see the boy. He had one to reach for him in the cradle. 

 

Cersei had shrieked from the bed. “Do not touch him. He is too little.”

Joanna had shushed her daughter. “It is his father. Your Grace, if you wash your hands, I would be glad to teach you how to hold him. “

Robert had held the child and the baby had cried the whole time. Robert had placed the boy back in the cradle and fled the room.

 

Joanna knew she did not know the whole of it but she knew there was more to Jaime and Cersei than a simple brother and sister bond. She remembered when she found them at six, naked under the covers of her bed with Cersei giving Jaime orders. Joanna thought that her son might need some time away from her daughter. 

 

At dinner, she flirted shamelessly with the King. “Your Grace, allow my son to accompany me. It has been so long since he has been home and I miss him. Surely the kingdoms are safe and he can come home.”

Robert laughed, flushed with wine and attention, “Of course.” 

 

When we had returned several things had happened, Garlan had received word that he was betrothed to a Fossoway girl. Tywin had also received word from Lord Dayne that he would have to refuse the offer of Tyrion for he had already found a suitable match for his youngest girl in Lord Dondarrion’s son.

 

This refusal, as well as his father’s disappointment, hit Tyrion hard and he went to his room without eating. He would not cheer up. Each one of his foster brothers tried to cheer him up and each one he sent away. Finally. Jaime offered to take him riding and Tyrion had taken him up on the offer. Joanna had wanted them to take some guards but Jaime had protested, saying he was a man and a member of the Kingsguard and could protect a group of boys 

She waited for them to return. Jaime arrived late in the night, drunk, with every one of the boys equally drunk, everyone but Tyrion. 

Joanna had asked before she put him to bed, “Where is your brother, Jaime?”

“I left him at an inn with a girl.” Jaime had mumbled before falling asleep.

In the morning, Joanna had Jaime show her where the inn was where he had left Tyrion. She had thought to herself how lucky they were to have pulled a stunt like this when Tywin was away for business for a fortnight. They had gotten there late in the afternoon, later than she would have liked but Jaime had been slower than he normally was.

They had come upon the inn, a quaint clean place. Joanna had been wondering if her oldest son had been calling a brothel an inn, but upon arriving, she saw it was an inn. When they entered the common room, the owner, a woman, immediately recognized her, more because of the Lannister men and flags she had than she had ever seen this woman before. She asked for her son and a boy led her to the second floor. 

Joanna had seen the bridal wreath on the door of the room. Suddenly, she realized what a fool her son was and what he had done. Silently she thanked her good judgment for leaving Jaime in the common room. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door wondering what her son had been thinking.

A pretty girl opened the door, wrapped in a bed sheet. Her eyes were big and bright and Joanna could tell she was as pretty as she was poor. The girl’s collarbones protruded sharply underneath her skin was proof the girl had known hunger. However poor and hungry the girl was, she was also was quick and knew her place. She might not know who this woman knocking on the door was but she could tell by Joanna’s dress that she was a higher station. “Milady,” she said in a whisper, bowing and looking away.

Joanna held the bridal wreath in her hand feeling the petals falling to the floor. She heard Tyrion call from the darkened room, “Tell the boy to bring more pigeon pie and honey cakes and wine. It is my wedding day. I need wine.”

Perhaps, it took him a minute to realize his bride had said milady or maybe he saw her shadow from the bed. Either way, in a moment, she heard the movements of his stunted legs move across the unseen bed. Joanna cleared her throat, “I am here to see my son, Tyrion.” 

Joanna pushed past the girl and into the dark room. She looked at the girl in the firelight, “Light some candles and push the windows open. We need to talk and we will need light.”

The girl did as she was bid. Tyrion quickly dressed finding his clothes on the floor. Joanna sat in the only chair in the room. Finally, the pair finished and came to stand near her. She put the bridal wreath on the table. Speaking, she questioned, “Who would like to tell me what has happened here?”

Tyrion’s bride seemed slightly awe-struck and slightly terrified. Tyrion took the girl’s hand in his. “Mother, this is Tysha. We rescued her from ruffians yesterday. She is my wife. We said our vows last night with a septon.”

Joanna held out her hand to the girl, “Hello, Tysha. I am Joanna Lannister, Lady of Casterly Rock. You seem like a good girl. What does your father do?”

“He is a crofter. We had seven acres..”

“I am certain that your mother and father are worried for you and I am sure that you acted in the last hours without your father's permission. Think how angry he will be when he learns what you have done.”

“Milady,” Tysha said, “My father and mother are both dead.”

Joanna spoke, a bit ruffled by the idea of this tiny, helpless thing alone in the world with no family, “I am sorry that you are alone at such a young age. I understand that you are in love and have said vows. But I am sorry, that neither of you thought before you acted so rashly. Tyrion has acted without permission from his father. The marriage is void. He is not allowed to marry without his father’s consent. So whatever promises were made unfortunately will not be able to be kept.” 

“Mother... Please. “ Tyrion spoke a plea.

 

She raised her hand to stop him from talking. “Tysha, I need you to go downstairs for a moment. Tyrion's brother, Jaime, is in the main room eating and waiting for me with the men. I need to talk to my son. He will get you whatever you need to eat.”

The girl seemed to genuinely care for Tyrion and with her dirty fingers, she wiped the tears that spilled on her cheeks. Tysha looked back once with all the heartbreak and love a girl could have and shut the door. 

Tyrion started as soon as the door was shut, “Mother, please I love her and she loves me. Please, have a heart.” 

Joanna spoke, “Tyrion, stop! This is foolishness and I cannot bear it any longer! You have always been given to flights of fancy but this is too much, even for you. She is young and you are probably even younger than she is. She is lowborn, not even a landed knight’s daughter and you are the heir to Casterly Rock.” 

“Mother, please you don't understand. No one understands. No one ever does. I am ugly and deformed, a monster, an imp. She is the only woman who will love me. Father told me twelve lords have refused him. Twelve. I am ugly and unlovable. If you take her, I will die alone. The only women who I will have will be ones I buy in a brothel or if we capture a girl and force her to marry me.” 

Joanna slapped him. “Enough! I cannot listen to the foolishness you speak. You clearly are drunk or too emotional. You are the future Lord of Casterly Rock, not a whiny boy. Stop acting childish!” 

She continued, “Do you think the lords of the westerlands will respect you with a commoner as the lady of Casterly Rock? They will see you as small and weak, ill-suited to rule. My love, I am being kind. The smallfolk might be able to choose their brides but you are not small. You are a lord. Please start acting as such! This is a kindness. Do you think your father will allow it?” 

“Think for a moment if he knew of your willfulness and disobedience that you would marry so beneath yourself. He is the man who pulled Tarbeck Hall down until it was stone- dust, and rubble. He killed every child that hid in Castamere's mines. Who paraded the woman your Grandfather loved for a decade, naked through town to show her her place? What do you think he might do to a small, pretty peasant girl with no name or even a father to plead for her? This is a kindness. Your marriage to her has put you and her in danger, terrible danger. This is a kindness.” 

“I have talked to your Aunt Dorna and there is a charity at a motherhouse she gives a small pension to that teaches young women a profession, to be a maid in a House or a nurse for children. She will go there for several months and learn skills There is a position in House Swyft in Cornfield. The Lady of Cornfield will gladly do a favor to the Lady of Casterly Rock. In several months, we will know if she is with child and that to can be arranged. She will be sent there today.”

“Mother, can I say goodbye, alone? Just a few minutes?”

“No. I do not think that would be for the best. I have already sent her ahead with some good men. She is gone. Please do not try and find her.” 

When they returned to Casterly Rock, she found a man to help Tyrion keep him safe from others and himself. He was as big as any man she had ever seen with a burnt face and good skill with a sword. Loyal and true, Sandor Clegane. Tyrion would call him The Hound because of his sigil but she sometimes wondered if it was because of his sad, sad eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has grown complicated. I think I have said it before it started as a light sweet thing but there is a great deal to chew on in the Aerys-Joanna-Tywin relationship. I had wanted it to be sweeter and lighter but I do not think that Tywin or Aerys are the kinds of young men that inspire those words. As I dug in the story, trying to make sense of Joanna was tough. Was she sent to KL to become the King's mistress? I did not think Tywin would marry a woman whose sole mission was to sleep with the King? How did Tywin see Joanna's relationship with the King? Also, why was the King so willing to flaunt the relationship they had? What did Joanna think or feel when the King took liberties with her on her wedding night? After she was married to a man who killed every man woman and child that hid in Castamere? What kind of situation was Aerys putting a woman he regarded so highly or did he care for her at all? Perhaps it was jealousy or competition? This chapter was the toughest but I think the rest should come easier... Fingers crossed. I m terrible with deadlines.

True to his word, Joanna was sent word that she would attend the Princess Rhaella as one of her ladies. Tywin never misspoke. If he promised something, he would see it through. This had been the first time he had done what he promised but over the next four decades, Tywin would do it over and over again, except of course marrying Rhaegar to Cersei. Joanna had learned the hard way that Tywin would succeed if he set his mind to it.

Of course, when the letter from the King arrived, she remembered feeling pride in how powerful Tywin was to arrange it. Her mother had boasted to her maids that her daughter would do well in King’s Landing and soon would be the Lady of Casterly Rock. Then, her mother had two new dresses made for her to go to King’s Landing. She was twelve when she left for King’s Landing with Tywin and Lannister soldiers. 

Joanna had remembered the look of worry on her Uncle Tytos’ face before she made the journey. He was the only one who worried for her. Whereas her mother whispered her ways to make herself the Princess’ favorite, Uncle Tytos had hugged and told her to be safe and be well. She remembered what he spoke, “Tywin is a stern boy with big dreams of a Lannister legacy, but family means everything to him. Stay close to him. He will keep you safe. You are his family. He is stern but there is a gentleness in him. underneath all that steel and pride. Perhaps, he needs you as much as you need him.”

She had thought of her Uncle Tytos and those words more often than he would ever know. As she had grown older, she would think on him and his life and wonder what secrets and choices he had made that had impacted his children. It made her wonder what her children might think of her and how her choices had impacted her children and grandchildren. 

Joanna had been certain that Lord Tytos had wanted to refuse the King’s request. Tytos was a loyal servant to the King, but he did not trust King’s Landing or the Court. He never told me why and I did not have the courage to ask why. Of course, Uncle Tytos did not refuse. 

On the day she left, her mother had kissed her and reminded her to remember her manners and her birth, to make them proud, to be a lady. Her father had ridden with her the whole way and she had never felt so proud. Joanna had loved that trip across the Seven Kingdoms. She had never been anywhere out of Casterly Rock and now she was on the Goldroad heading to King’s Landing. Every day, Tywin would stop so she could leave the wheelhouse and sit with him, eating or walking. He would tell her of his plans. She remembered how much she had admired him and had promised herself she would do him proud. Once, he had even taken her hand and told her how he felt close to her as if she was more than just his cousin, but his confidante.

Joanna remembered how she felt honored at Tywin choosing her to be close to, how she felt like she was a woman and not a girl. She realized she was no longer a child but a Lady and she would help Tywin realize his plans to make House Lannister as great as it once was. 

When she arrived in the Red Keep, it was in the preparation of the coronation of King Jaehaerys II. Immediately, Joanna was introduced to the Princess Rhaella and her ladies- in- waiting. Rhaella was a kind and sweet girl, beautiful and sad. Recently, she had given birth to the future heir to the Iron Throne, Prince Rhaegar. She was pious and frail as if she belonged to a different world and this world was too hard on her. 

However, even if she was as lovely as any princess in a story, Princess Rhaella was overshadowed by her brother, Aerys. Prince Aerys was handsome, dashing, full of energy and power. It was as if the very air around him vibrated with power. When he smiled, ladies and lords bent to his will. It said that Aerys would be the greatest of the Targaryen Kings. Perhaps, he would even be as great as Aegon the Conqueror. 

Joanna became fast friends with Princess Dorea Martell, who was an attendant to Queen Sheara. Princess Dorea was energetic, witty and beautiful. She was also the most worldly woman she had ever met. She had been to the Stepstones, as well as the Free Cities. Dorea had had several lovers as well as married to her husband. She spoke lightly of things other women would whisper in secret about. Her dark hair shined and her eyes held laughter and mischief. Dorea was known to say, “Women have much misery. Let us find joy where we can.”

Dorea would be the one who told her the way of love, of men, of childbirth. In fact, Dorea showed her how to make love potions and moon tea. Once, Princess Dorea had been a lover of a young Lord Yronwood and he had taught her more than how to kiss. Dorea would speak openly of her lovers and their charms, even though she was married to her consort who was still in Sunspear. Dorea loved to talk about the gossip of Court, which lady Aerys was bedding, who would be appointed to the Small Council, what was the news around the Red Keep and King’s Landing. Dorea teased her gently about her cousin Tywin. Some had said it was Princess Dorea who had been Aerys ' first lover and the lady who introduced him to the art of love. 

Regardless of how busy Tywin was, they met every day in the garden. As soon as Princess Rhaella would lay down for her afternoon nap, Joanna would go and find Tywin who would be waiting for her. They would walk beside each other and he would tell her of his day. She would look up at him and try to make him laugh with the little stories of things that happened with the Princess and her ladies. He never laughed but he would take her arm and they would walk under the trees. 

It was Dorea who told her that Aerys had been staring at her. She had noticed that the Prince of Dragonstone’s eyes would often linger too long on her but she had tried to ignore it and hope it would be a passing fancy for a prince. Joanna had learned to smile and look away demurely. She had no desire to be one of the Prince’s many mistresses when she could be the Lady of Casterly Rock. She had told Dorea this and Dorea laughed, saying, “Play your cards right and you could be both.”

But Joanna had no desire for that. She had wanted to build Tywin’s dream, a strong House Lannister. She had only been in King’s Landing for a few moons when received a letter from her father that Tywin had sent word to his father requesting a betrothal for himself and the Lady Joanna. Lord Tytos had gladly agreed to it. Her father sent congratulations on her betrothal and spoke of how excited her mother was at the upcoming nuptials. 

Joanna had looked at the note, wondering why Tywin had never spoken of his wish to marry her, even though he had had plenty of time to share it with her. Perhaps, she was not as close as she thought. What other secrets did he keep from her? She had found Tywin in the yard. “Tywin, were you going to ask me? Or just send word to my father?”

He had stumbled over his words. She had had that effect on him, “Joanna I would have asked after Father sent his permission.”

She had kissed him, a dry simple girl kiss. To be Lady of Casterly Rock was no small thing. In front of Steffon and Aerys and all the other men, she flung her arms around him and kissed him. “Yes," she had whispered to him. 

Tywin had swung her around with a rare gift, his grin. But she could feel the Prince’s hungry eyes on her. 

Later Aerys had found her in the Sept. Princess Rhaella, his wife, had sent her back to get her prayer beads. He had taken her in his arms, “It is a shame you will be wasted on a man as grim as Tywin.”

"Shh," she had giggled at the Prince's teasing, "My Prince, I must hurry. Your wife waits." 

"Let her wait. I have my golden girl. I have no desire for you to leave." 

Joanna had looked in his purple eyes and realized that she was in no hurry to leave. His charm and good looks were a bit overpowering and she blushed at his compliment. "My Lord, I am betrothed and he is your dearest friend."

Aerys had looked at her with such intensity it made her anxious. "My Lady, in celebration of your betrothal, grant me one favor. I just want one kiss from the bride-to-be. Please, let me have just one." 

Joanna had thought she would refuse him but when she looked up in his eyes, she had nodded. "Yes."

Aerys had kissed her, not the dry polite girlish thing that Tywin and she had shared in the yard, but a slow soft kiss that took a great deal of time and all of her breath. 

Breathless against her neck, he had whispered to her, “How does a Prince’s kiss compare to a Lord's?”

She had laid on his shoulder, thinking she should pull away or say something to deter him. Instead, when she spoke, Joanna whispered a mix of shame and girlish excitement. “I think it was wonderful.”

"Come to my room later. My wife will be in her rooms... Later. Come.”

"I cannot." As she had watched him leave, Joanna swore she would not go. After all, Joanna was not a lady without honor. She would refuse the prince and pray, read, dance and do needlework with the Princess who was sweet and sincere. It was wrong to even entertain the idea. After all, Rhaella was pregnant with Aerys' second child and had done nothing to deserve treachery.

However, as the days progressed, Aerys had become more and more forward, sending her gifts and letters filled with some of the prettiest words she had ever read. The gifts that Aerys sent were sweet but they would have never won her. So, he gave her the thing that Tywin had never given her; Aerys started to listen to her. He would find me and ask my opinion on the water fountain in the garden, on a new tapestry in the hallway, or on his father's newest addition to the Small Council. Most intoxicating to her was how when she spoke, Aerys actually paid attention and listened. For the first time, she felt like she was special and important. If the Prince of Dragonstone could listen to her with such intensity, surely her opinion mattered. Joanna Lannister started to feel special in Prince Aerys company. Aerys started to send her the things she liked. When he found out that she preferred green dresses instead of red, he had three of the prettiest green dresses sent to her. Slowly, Joanna started to look forward to the time they could spend together. When he found out she liked apple tarts more than lemon cakes, he had the bakers fill a whole table with apple treats just for her with an apple made of solid gold for her in the center. Aerys watched her eat them and then grew bold feeding her them. Suddenly, he kissed her, "Joanna, I would give you all that I have. It was not my choice to marry dull Rhaella. They made me. But we can still be together and I can show you how much you mean to me."

Joanna could still feel how hot her face grew. When Prince Aerys kissed her, she burned for him and all her oaths burned in that kiss. Thinking back on it, Joanna could see that she was a foolish girl, but at the time, it was a beautiful love story and she was the heroine. It went on like that for a month, secret meetings, hot kisses, urgent notes, special presents, specifically for her. He listened to her. Joanna started to long for their secret meetings and his kisses and the ache they brought. 

Suddenly, King Jaehaerys II called for his men and his lords to fight in the War of the Ninepenny Kings. Both Aerys and Tywin were eager to go and eliminate the threat to the realm. Joanna spent months thinking of their safety and all the danger they could be in. She was with the Queen when she miscarried her second child but all she could think of was Aerys and if he was fine. When she started thinking more of Aerys' safety than Tywin's, Joanna started to wonder if she had any honor at all or if she was a base creature like Ellyn Reyne?

She had made a promise to herself to give up the King and their secret meetings. Joanna had heard the rumors that she had given her maidenhead to Prince Aerys on the night of King Jaehaerys' coronation. She had not. It had only been sweet words and long kisses, heated touches, but she had never slept with the Prince. 

When Aerys returned hardened by battle, she had met him in the tunnels that first night of his return and followed him to his rooms with fevered kisses and longing. At first, she had tried the tricks she had before the War to keep the lovemaking to kisses and touching. But he would not have it. His fingers trailed up her thighs and he parted her legs. He was bold, returning from the War with a man's wants. Immediately, Joanna had pushed her legs together and said, "No."

In an instant, he was a cold, distant man, not the attentive passionate love who listened to all her words. Aerys stood up and poured a glass of wine, "Leave, Joanna. I do not know what you play at, but I tire of this game. I can find a woman this very night who is willing to be my lover and not just these childish kisses and silly games."

She remembered the shame and want, the conflict inside her between stood up and started to walk to the door. Joanna could recite off the names of half a dozen women who would gladly bed the Prince. When Joanna reached the door, she had stood there realizing she did not want to leave. She had wanted Aerys more than her loyalty or her honor. Instead of leaving, Joanna took off her dress. Gathering her in his arms, Aerys carried her to the bed like she was his treasure or a prize. When he entered her, the Prince whispered, "I love you, Joanna. Only you. Always you."

As Joanna lay there, full of love and desire for Aerys, she kissed him saying, "I love you, Aerys, my Prince." 

She remembered feeling defiance and happiness, a reckless feeling only the young and fools feel. Lying there in his arms, Joanna plotted on how she could be the King's mistress without Tywin finding out. If Tywin heard even the slightest murmur, he would send her to Casterly Rock. Joanna never wanted to leave the King's arms. After all, Aerys loved her and she loved him.

Joanna did not have to plot at all. On the following afternoon, when she met with Tywin in the garden, he told her he was returning to the westerlands for a few moons. The War had hardened his resolve to bring the west back under the authority of the Lannisters. She would remember that being the first time that Tywin referred to Lady Ellyn as the Bitch of Castamere, the Whore of Tarbeck Hall. In that conversation, he listed all the slights the Reynes and Tarbecks had done, specifically Lady Ellyn. He even repeated a few baseless and dark rumors that surely were false, like she had slept with her brother to have her children or she was a witch. 

Tywin left her with a kiss, a smile, and a promise. "When I return, we will be wed. King Jaehaerys says we can be married in the Sept of Baelor." 

Their love affair had been intense, exciting, and dangerous. For the year that Tywin was in the westerlands, Joanna was in the Prince Aerys' company more than his wife. She had thought she was being discreet and Tywin would never find out. After all, he was busy in the west. Prince Aerys called her his golden girl. He would send her flowers dipped in gold, fruit from the Summer Islands, puppies, peacocks, jewelry, dancers from Braavos, a parrot from Lys who could recite dirty limericks. In his arms, Aerys would tell her when he was King he would marry her and have two wives like his ancestors before him. "You will be my heart and love, my Rhaenys, and Rhaella, my duty, my Visenya." 

All was sweetness and romance until the first messengers came from the west telling of Tywin's quest to bring his father's lords to heel. Each story more horrific than the last. When word came of Castamere and all the Reynes being destroyed, she had gone to the King and swore she would not marry Tywin. Joanna remembered speaking the words, “I will not marry a monster.” 

Aerys had joked that she would not have to and that he would go to war over me if he must. Aerys gathered Joanna in his arms and said, "I will not give you to a monster. I will fight a war for you to be mine." 

However, King Jaehaerys II became ill and passed away. As Joanna comforted Aerys through his grief and helped him plan his coronation, she had grown hopeful. Surely, if Aerys was King, he would stop the marriage. They spent wild and restless nights together as well as most nights. However, when they received that Joanna's mother would be arriving in King's Landing to help plan the nuptials, she had gone to Aerys to demand his help as King to stop her upcoming wedding.

Aerys had chuckled amused as if she was a child. "Of course, your Mother is coming. You will be married in a moon and my coronation will be the week before that, Tywin is one of my oldest friends and I desire to make him my Hand. My Hand desires you and so you are a fair trade to have the most feared man in Westeros running my government."

Joanna had stood there, dumbfounded. "But you have said you love me... only me. How could you bear to have another man claim me for his wife?"

 

Aerys laughed, "Joanna, don't be naive. We can still meet. You will remain in King's Landing. It is hard work to be the Hand. I can keep Tywin busy."

Joanna ran from his chambers to her own. Through her tears, she promised she would not return to Aerys' bed. Despairing and Hopeless, Joanna laid in bed. The Maester feared that she had taken ill with some strange condition. However, when her Mother arrived, she had ordered her servants to drag Joanna out of bed and wash her. Mother had looked at her like she was a spoiled child and spoke to her in a scolding tone, "Tywin should be here any day. He cannot see you like this. Gods, Joanna, what have you done? I do not think you have brushed your hair in a moon. Look at the snarls.

Joanna remembered her defiance. Crying, hot, shameful tears, she begged Mother to stop the wedding and help her. Instead, Mother tried to soothe her, "Shh... Joanna. It is normal for a bride to be a bit reluctant or nervous. Tywin Lannister is a powerful, strong, wealthy man. He is your cousin. You could not do better. He will keep you safe. It is a great honor to be a Lady of Casterly Rock."

"I do not want that honor. If you make me marry him, I will kill myself or run away.”

Her mother had slapped her. Marla Prester talked to her daughter frankly. Joanna realized slowly that her Mother had heard the rumors that she had been Aerys' mistress. "Stop being a petulant child! It is an honor to be the Lady of Casterly Rock. Your King is already married and you will no longer be his whore! He has already taken two other mistresses. Tywin wants you! I am here to bring you home after you are married so you will come to your senses." 

Finally, Joanna realized that she had been careless with her heart. For all the love she had thought she had shared with Aerys, it was lust and desire and just another flight of fancy for Aerys, another project he would not finish. Joanna realized she was no different than Princess Rhaella and understood what duty was to a woman, what it would be to be wed to a man you did not want. She had gone back to Rhaella to resume her duties as a lady-in-waiting, but Rhaella had sent her away, telling her to go spend time on her Mother and her wedding. Princess Dorea told her that she would also be leaving as the soon-to-be Queen had dismissed her and told her to go attend her children in Dorne. 

When Tywin did arrive, he never confronted her on the rumors that Joanna was certain he knew. Instead, they planned a wedding in the way they had been before Aerys, courteous planning, formal exchanges, and careful touches and words. She wondered if his formality was disguised anger because she had played his false. She prayed to the Mother to help her make him love her. Suddenly, she realized that she would be his wife and if she could not make him care for her, what would it be like to be married to the man who orchestrated Castamere?

The wedding was gorgeous, extravagant. The new King Aerys II wanted to show his strength and his riches. Aerys also wanted to show how he loved his old friend and Hand, Tywin Lannister. Joanna had started drinking in a mix of anger and grief, making a drinking game out of it. Every time Aerys called Tywin brother or said how he loved him, she would drink. Ever time someone said Joanna looked like The Maiden in a snide way, she drank. Every time, Aerys grabbed for Lady Tanda Stokeworth, his new mistress, Joanna would drink. Every single time, someone made mention of the bedding or bloody sheets, Joanna would drain her entire glass. 

So by the time the bedding was called, she had drunk a great deal. When the bedding was called, the King himself carried her to the bedroom, surrounded by the Kingsguard so no other men could touch me. When we got there, he disrobed her, slowly lingering over her body with kisses. "Aerys, you should leave. It is my wedding day. Tywin should be here soon." 

Suddenly, he was the old Aerys, the man she loved. He touched my face, with sadness, "This should be our wedding day." Aerys kissed her, pushing her on the bed. With no thought to propriety, he started to kiss Joanna taking great liberties with a woman married to his dearest friend. Joanna pleaded with him to get off her. She begged him, but he continued. But the time Rhaella and the other ladies of the court dropped a naked Tywin in the room, Joanna was in tears, frustrated, ashamed, angry, grief-stricken. Aerys was licking my most private place, as the Kingsguard watched. Joanna had always enjoyed it but this time it was to shame her, or even worse to shame Tywin. Tywin coughed loudly. Aerys sat up and wiped his mouth and chin, "I have made her ready for you Tywin. She is wet and willing." 

Stone-faced, Queen Rhaella left the room. And Joanna felt the shame rush to her face. The King laughed making ribald jokes and shutting the door behind him.

When the King left, Tywin poured two glasses of wine one for Joanna and one for himself. As he handed it to her, his face was unreadable, "Did he hurt you?"

His eyes were angry but the anger was not directed at her "No, Tywin," he did not. Joanna started to cry, "I am so sorry. I begged him to stop."

"Shh, the King is jealous that I have you. He has been spreading rumors of you of late. He does this to slander you and make me look the fool. Saying that you are his mistress."

Joanna remembered her confusion, trying to figure out if Tywin was trying to trick her or entrap her. Her wine-soaked mind struggled to understand what Tywin's intentions were. Her head was swirling had Aerys been saying things about her. Bragging about women had been something he had done in the past for some of his lovers, women he did not care about But she had never thought he would do it to her. After all, he had told her a thousand times that she was special. She was his golden girl. His Rhaenys. His Love. 

Tywin continued, " You have opened yourself to it. After all, Princess Dorea Martell is a known woman of ill repute and she has been your closest friend. You did not know this but he was Aerys first mistress. There are some who say she made him a man. There are some who say her youngest is Aerys bastard." 

"Elia?" she said, wondering why Dorea had never mentioned any of this before. 

"Yes, the girl."

Slowly, Joanna drank the wine in her glass trying to figure out what this all meant. Tywin continued in his rant about whorish women with too much power. "Everyone knows Dorea is a whore. And now they talk as you are."

"I am sorry," she said. Until this point, she had never heard him speak so of Dorea. He had talked of Ellyn Tarbeck crassly or his father’s mistress, but never someone close to me. Suddenly, Joanna had felt exposed and vulnerable, more than a little afraid. The evidence of the King's touches had left pink marks on her thighs and her make-up was smudged from the King's kisses. Joanna could still vividly remember the urge to wash her face and she pulled the sheet up to cover her nakedness.

"I am sorry, Tywin." 

Tywin looked concern and spoke, "Did I upset you? Are you frightened? You have no reason to fear. You are my wife now. Mine. Your reputation is mine. The King will not be able to slander you or spread rumors any longer. You will be heading back to Casterly Rock." 

"The Queen needs me," Joanna spoke, wondering if Tywin or her Mother had filled the Queen's ears with slander. 

"Your mother spoke with the Queen. She will be releasing you." 

Tywin reached over and touched her face. "You have too much rouge on it makes you look sluttish, Joanna." 

Climbing into bed like a lion, Tywin kissed her roughly. Joanna remembered swallowing the urge to flee or retch. Instead, she pretended to enjoy it, trying to remember the Tywin she loved. Tywin did not notice the deceit and he bedded her three times that night. He was passionate and caring and even pricked his own thumb so that there would be blood on the sheets. Tywin did not ask why she did not bleed. But still, she felt terrified and alone, nonetheless. As she lay there, Joanna thought she could trust no one here and perhaps, Aerys had not loved her as much as she thought.

Joanna knew her future and her happiness was tied with Tywin Lannister and she would make him love her or at the least, need her.

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, I read a theory and it said Lann the Clever was a dwarf like Tyrion and I loved that idea. I hope to finish this story by the end of the month but I am bad with deadlines so please have patience...


End file.
